so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
