sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
