i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
