oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
