I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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