The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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