Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
