More tranny stories later!
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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