Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
