Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
