if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
