I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
