I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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