brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
