...so i touched it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
