He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
