No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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