No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He shit in the fireplace
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
