meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
