bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
