It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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