hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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