worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize