I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
