no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
