worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
