Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
