4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
