I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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