I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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