He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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