I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
North Korea, Best Korea!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
