Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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