She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
