but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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