She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
