with your own penis?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
