love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
