The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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