Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
