Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
