i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
