I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
