I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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