I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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