I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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