He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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