dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
