bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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