its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
