i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
operation have a gay friend backfired
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
