Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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