tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
