I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
