College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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