his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
