By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
