last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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