Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
