Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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