I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
