that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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