dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
this will be a night to untag.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
