You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
