So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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